[an error occurred while processing this directive]

Accepting the Annual Acronym Award on behalf of WMD was Uncle Sam, the producer of much of the world's WMD known-knowns, that is to say, WMD we know we know, because they were made by the US.

Winner of Annual Acronym Awards is a No-Show

2/21/04 - Some of those in attendance at the 2004 Acronym Awards ceremony thought for sure that this time they would finally catch a glimpse of the reclusive WMD, which lost to MILF by a narrow margin in last year's competition. But alas, even with weeks of promos promising that it would show up, and repeated breaking news that they had found WMDs*, the top honor of this year's Acronym Awards was a no-show.

While WMD wasn't present, leaving some to wonder if WMD had ever existed, most at this year's gala event still enjoyed watching all the big acronyms come out on their big night.

Present with a larger entourage than usual this year was FCC, who mandated that the event be on 5-second tape delay in case Michael Moore showed up, per the insistence of more than 200,000 people. But by the end of the night, FCC was sitting with a whole table of acronyms like MSNBCGE and AOLCNN, and no longer represented more than 2,000,000 people.

Also spotted was Operation Iraqi Liberation (OIL) with longtime girlfriend PNAC, a pair rumored to be dating since the 90s, although PNAC usually keeps herself out of the public eye.

Shock and awe filled the Amazon.com Arena when longtime acronym stalwart SUV, there to receive a lifetime achievement award, was seen on the jumbotron with his new young bombshell MOAB, and told the press after the show that their budding relationship grew so strong in the past year because, as they describe, "we really compliment each others' lifestyles so well."

In an odd moment towards the end of the event, SARS streaked the floor of the arena, sending people panicking into the aisles. As people ran amock, TSA came by and put little notes in people's luggage saying they're been in there.

• U.S. To Unleash More Weapons of Mass Delusion
Biological Agents Part of the Plan

MILF Takes Top Honor at Annual Acronym Awards
Barely Beats Out WMD, to Rumsfeld's Chagrin

Colin Powell's Map of Iraqi Sites That Contain Weapons of Mass Destruction

[an error occurred while processing this directive]

*[and always retracted later, in small print, off to the side somewhere ... ]