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2005
Humor Is Dead


Screen capture of Arkansas NBC affiliate WWTF from last night's 6:00 pm local news broadcast. The image of Janet Jackson's breast was accidentally superimposed over a story about soldiers returning from the War in Iraq - an error the station deeply regrets and will pay dearly for.

Live Broadcast Debacle Superimposes Janet's Breast Onto Flag-Draped Coffin of Returning Soldier
Adding to Suspected Fines, Newscaster Exclaims Obscenity During Two-Second Fiasco

4/26/04 -
In three shots fired across the bow of the USS Common Decency, a control room error at local NBC affiliate WWTF simultaneously showed Janet Jackson's exposed right breast on top of the coffin of a soldier returning home from liberating Fallujah. The incident, broadcast during last night's live 6:00 pm Action News telecast, caused newscaster Harold Vazquez to exclaim the f-word.

Ignoring a Pentagon mandate to not show imagery of coffins returning from any conflicts for which the United States is fighting for freedom, the station was covering a live coffin-offloading when, suddenly, Janet's infamous right breast appeared on screen, seemingly plopping itself on top of the coffin.

The station explained that the image of the breast was stored on their computer network under the filename patrioticthemejingle.wav; it's intended use was to serve as the intro music to the piece about the returning soldiers to Dover AFB.

"Something went wrong in the control room, these darn computers are so garsh-darn unpredictable" said station manager Skip Simpson. "And then when [6:00pm Action News newscaster] Harold yelled ["FUCK!"], I brown-spotted my pants. Not my best two seconds in broadcasting, but thankfully, not my favorite pants."

Today, as middle America grieves over the incident, Bush calls for the immediate formation of a joint-independent commission to be headed by Donald Rumsfeld and Michael Powell. C-SPAN has been ordered to drop coverage of 9/11 and WMD hearings to make room for these historic proceedings, which is what the President says America wants.


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