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2005
Humor Is Dead

Shadow Government Emerges From Hole, Sees Shadow

2/3/04 - Competing for press time with Punxsutawney Phil, D.C. Dick emerged from his hole yesterday morning and saw his shadow, indicating that it would be six more weeks until the US invaded another country.

"It was beautiful to see our government in action," said Carol Harold of nearby Stump, Virginia. "Every country should be free like us here in America. I love freedom."

As part of the celebration that ensued, NASA announced plans to send twin rovers to the distant Vice President. One would be sent to the forehead, to confirm scientific theories that hair once flowed over the landscape. A second probe will enter the veep's innersphere to search for signs of morality.

In related news:
Medical Device Makers In Ethical Dilemma Over Continuing To Prolong Dick Cheney's Life

Halle Berry, Tim Burton Wed in Private Weekend Ceremony. Actress Takes Filmmaker's Name; Secures Government Contracts as "Halle Burton"

Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Halliburton

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