Change Brings Big Results
"Toys for Tits" Foundation Rolling
4/26/04 - Toys
for Tots, which has suffered dramatically
lower donation amounts over the last few years, has seen unprecedented
success after officially changing it's name and strategy. What started
as a simple spelling error in a nationwide direct mailing has turned
into a boon for the foundation.
"We were literally flooded with toys. We're sitting under a
pile of nipple adornments, breastercisers, bi-polar tit clamps,
and electro-tweezers," said Gerald Lucas, president of Toys
for Tits. "So we just went with it and made the name change
official. Tits in, tots out.
child advocacy groups deemed the new approach "inappropriate."
Lucas counters such claims. "Look we're not talking about children
anymore. We don't want a child playing with electric breast shockers
or the Suction Mistress any more than anyone else. These
are for adult tits only. There are plenty of charities out there
for children. But millions of breasts go unpumped, unpierced, and
unfondled every day. It's a crying shame!"
Live Broadcast Debacle Superimposes Janet's Breast Onto Flag-Draped
Coffin of Returning Soldier