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2005
Humor Is Dead

Name Change Brings Big Results
"Toys for Tits" Foundation Rolling In Donations


4/26/04 -
Toys for Tots, which has suffered dramatically lower donation amounts over the last few years, has seen unprecedented success after officially changing it's name and strategy. What started as a simple spelling error in a nationwide direct mailing has turned into a boon for the foundation.

"We were literally flooded with toys. We're sitting under a pile of nipple adornments, breastercisers, bi-polar tit clamps, and electro-tweezers," said Gerald Lucas, president of Toys for Tits. "So we just went with it and made the name change official. Tits in, tots out.

Some child advocacy groups deemed the new approach "inappropriate." Lucas counters such claims. "Look we're not talking about children anymore. We don't want a child playing with electric breast shockers or the Suction Mistress any more than anyone else. These are for adult tits only. There are plenty of charities out there for children. But millions of breasts go unpumped, unpierced, and unfondled every day. It's a crying shame!"


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