Contact Us


2005
Humor Is Dead

Astronomers, physicists, and various religious cults remain stumped for an answer on how a neon sign along westbound I-80 in Indiana (above) could have possibly triggered the heliocentric alignment of the planets of our solar system (right). The reaction by most has been bewilderment (below).

Following Opening of Weigh Station Along Ohio/Indiana Border, Planets Unexpectedly Arrange In Heliocentric Alignment

1/14/04 - "It certainly was an odd occurrence," said Ed Fred of Courtney Corner, Indiana. "I never thought I'd see that happen in my lifetime."

Ed was referring to the opening of the weigh station on I-80, viewable from his ranch on County Road 700. Of course, although big in Ed's world, he was oblivious to the effect this event had on the cosmos, specifically, complete and other defiance of Newtonian gravity laws, Einstein's theory of relativity, and those other "rules" of the cosmos.

Scientists and the occasional cult are collectively"head-scratchin'" following the discovery that eight of the nine known planets in our solar system had suddenly aligned linearly with the sun. Pluto could not be reached for comment.

The time: 8:07.628 Greenwich Mean Time - the exact point at which power to the "OPEN" indicator under the "Weigh Station: 1/2 Mile" was turned on. While it remains to be seen what effects the planets of the solar system will have on each other, or how long they will remain in alignment, Ed is only concerned with the noise.

"Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me," says Ed, sitting by us at the Humor is Dead satellite office here in Fort Wayne. This is Ed's first trip to Fort Wayne, and boy is he frightened.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]